Road Testing the Roadtest

Roadtest began many years ago now. Henry wanted me to write short factual descriptions about artists' sundries. I began very simply. The first I can actually remember was about masking fluid but there may have been a few before that. It was not long before the words grew and Henry wanted Illustrations.

Early Roadtests were sober and pedantically written. Artists never have more than weak control of their medium and words, for me, quickly became very unpredictable too. The trouble was my animals. In the early days, my dog seemed to intrude, stealing Hakes, devouring favoured painting hats and so on. The cats were there too, dropping rodents in paint, on paper, and generally helping add to the chaos. Gradually it has been made very clear that while my columns are read for the arty bits, what really matters is the livestock. So I would like to introduce us all.

I am a painter working both here and in Southern Ireland where most of my work sells. I write and paint in both places. If you are interested in my work, ask Henry. I have a very lovely, long suffering partner who copes while I am away being artistic. We have four children who are all artistic and musical and who occasionally creep in to Roadtests. Eldest is the owner of Foggy. Regular Roadtest readers will know plenty about that grey female cat who terrorizes me. Foggy's Kitten is Citroen, known for his motor mouth and small brain. Our current Senior Tom is Pushkin who is a gentle Tabby slob. He and Citroen keep me company all day while I work, while Foggy is off terrorizing my village and all local rodents plus the rabbit population. There are other peripheral animals who creep in from time to time. Buddy used to belong to my middle daughter but Henry and Margaret took him in when she moved in to a pet free flat. Now he is rabbit Malt. Sadly, the Malts are a cat free zone at the moment but that is bound to change as Henry is certainly a cat fancier. In Ireland, various wild cats have drifted by and some stay for a while. One left me a nest of kittens to bring up and those are the ones that travelled to England and now have a happy home in my village here.

Dog is long gone to the great bone in the sky but was a very dear sort of a golden Labrador but with added on extra pizzazz due to mixed lineage. He was simply the best dog in the world and has not been replaced as anything else would be a come down. Henry is not known for being as dog person, but agrees that Dog was one of the nicest people he has met.

I am not related to the Malts but I do know them well and live fairly near them. They run this firm from a small village, mostly all their own work but with some clerical help and a warehouse full of packers. None of us is in our teens but equally none of us has an old age pension. Like me they have nearly grown children.

Roadtest has a few ethics, mostly that I only praise what I really like and will use. Henry mostly suggests what I test but some times I find something and suggest it would have the makings of a test in it. I have refused to write about several things that I did not think were helpful, and equally Henry has not used Roadtests that were of products that he knew were from troublesome or unreliable stockists. Basically he gives me a completely free hand. He de-Americanises my spelling and protects me from potential law suits. He makes subtle name changes to keep our privacy, and that's about all. I always try the products that I write about and I try to give you a fair sense of what it does and how it can help your own work. Many things become my regular tools and some I only return to Henry with reluctance. Usually when they are photographed, I get them back again. About half of the tests have not been about specific products but have been my philosophy, or favourite techniques. I hope you have enjoyed them and found them useful.

The other person who you would like to know about is Val, the clever illustrator of my life. When Henry told me he was going to use a professional illustrator, I was dubious as how could that person capture our life. Now I have no doubts as she does a wonderful job and I always await a sighting of each new cartoon with much excitement. I only know that she is called Val and lives east of where I am. She captures my family and menagerie so well.

I have a theory that you would enjoy some photographs of the animals. Henry says not as they are in your imagination. Do let us know what you think.

Through out these years we have covered many subjects. These are a few of the older ones, many may be about products that are no longer available but if you are interested, tell Henry and he can add them to this for you. The long list includes: Palettes, Masking Fluid, Artists' back packs, Easels, Hakes, and old favourite brushes, New favoured brushes, Max Grumbacher paint, Meon brush holder, Table easels, Art videos, Chromacolour, Felt tips, Sables, St Petersburg paints, Colour shapers, Bockingford tinted paper, Two Rivers paper, Paper stretchers, Artistic hats, Mediums for paint, retractable brushes, The Wilcox palette, Sword liners, papers galore, New paint colours, bigger hakes, Masque pens, and much, much more. I have waffled over topics like when to break artistic rules, What sells, quality in work, lakes and water tricks, glazing, criticising, and lots and lots of bits devoted to the animals that plague my working life. Even though Henry has censored some references to giblets and general entrails, you all have a feel for what I suffer from. Will we ever forget that full imperial finished painting, so gently, delicately painted, that was disimproved by a rodent falling on it, after first being dropped in Cadmium Orange. It did sell, eventually but only from my sale box. It takes a special sort of person, to appreciate faint traces of orange rodent in skies.

Finally, this village is overburdened with odd animals and as a taster of things to come, there is a rumour that the ex vicarage here is planning to put Alligators in its pond. This should preclude any painting episodes in its stunning garden.

EMA
June 2002

You can learn more about EMA and see her work at www.emaart.com. You can see Foggy the cat, too.

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